Holy shit!!! I have never needed to pop a xanax or do breathing exercises before going into a restaurant to order to-go food… until now. “HAY, MAY I HELP YOU!!!!!” . “Oh, fuck…. I don’t know yet, I just walked in.”. To the people behind me,” go ahead, I need a minute.”. Every time I walk into Gates I feel like I need to run into their shitty bathroom, lock myself into the stall, and Google their menu so when I come out I’m more confident. Whenever I order here I feel like I’m having that recurring dream that I’m at my high school talent show contest on stage NAKED! Too much pressure.
Well I’m here to tell you… all the anxiety is worth it. I can’t even fathom phoning in my order. Can you imagine what that conversation might be like? “HAY, MAY I HELP YOU?! HELLO? ARE YOU READY?” Me- “ummm.?” Them-”WELL FUCK YOU THEN. GO TO DICKEY’S.”. So I braved it and ordered at the counter, after about 8 minutes of looking. I was fucking terrified to ask a question, but I was really kind of drunk, so I did. I asked her what was the difference between long ribs and short ribs. She was actually very nice and explained it. For those who are not cookout geeks and BBQ gurus, short ribs are the end of the rib of the cow. Long ribs are….longer I think. My good friends that cook BBQ a lot a going to verbally rape me for this.
Anyway I ordered the long ribs cause that sounds like it has more meat than the short ribs. Right? And the guy in the kitchen even made eye contact with me and ask if I wanted sauce on my ribs. Nice touch here. Take fucking notes Dickey’s owners. I said hell yes, and they were very moist and had a lot of meat on them. I also ordered a side of potato salad and coleslaw. You know I think the sides make the meal all come together with BBQ. And those sides were so fucking good that I wanted to call Gates back and ask” Where did you get these glorious side dishes….Narnia?”. But she would have just yelled at me and hung up. In addition I also got a ass load of dill pickles, which I love.
They apparently run there restaurant in a no lid zone cause they just Saran wrapped all my food individually and bagged it. I was like a phantom, it and out in just minutes. I didn’t even see them put in adequate napkins, which you need with ribs or a bath towel, not a used one either, and plastic-wear. While saving so much money
under the bottom line with no lids and using Saran wrap I bet I could get extra BBQ sauce and some ranch if I needed it. If you work high up in the Hooters’ corporation….please read this or go to Gates and get to-go food. Gates does it right.
Gates in KCMO on State Line. 4.6 out of 5.
3 outta 5 times it is great, once average and once it sucks, but, when its good, ITS GREAT!!
I am pretty sure the party about locking yourself in the bathroom was soo funny I started to Cry!!!